7 Common Myths About Divorce – And the Truth Behind Them

Divorce is one of the most misunderstood life events, surrounded by myths and misconceptions that can make an already difficult process even more stressful. Whether you’re considering divorce, going through one, or supporting someone who is, it's essential to separate fact from fiction. Let’s debunk seven common myths about divorce and uncover the truth behind them.

Myth 1: Divorce Means You Have Failed

Many people believe that divorce equals failure, but this simply isn’t true. Relationships evolve, and sometimes, two people grow in different directions. Staying in an unhappy or unhealthy marriage can be more damaging than choosing to separate. Divorce is not about failure—it’s about making the best decision for your future happiness and wellbeing.

Myth 2: Divorce Is Always Bitter and Full of Conflict

While some divorces can be contentious, not all are filled with drama and hostility. Many couples choose mediation or enter into settlement negotiations to part ways amicably. With the right legal guidance and emotional support, divorce can be handled respectfully, focusing on resolution rather than revenge.

Myth 3:  The Primary Care of Children Are Always Awarded to the Mother

In the past, courts often favoured mothers in custody battles.  However, the court will at all times consider the best interests of the child. Many fathers are awarded primary care of the children, depending on factors like parenting involvement, stability, and the child's needs. The Children’s Act 38 of 2005 provides that parents have rights and responsibilities towards their child/ren namely to care for their child/ren, to keep contact with their child/ren, to act as guardian and to contribute to the maintenance of the child/ren.  Both parents of a child have equal rights and responsibilities, but when they are not living together, specific rights and responsibilities may be given to one parent, either by court order or by agreement between the parties, taking into account what will be in the best interest of the child/ren.

Myth 4: Divorce Ruins Children’s Lives

Divorce does affect children, but it doesn’t have to ruin their lives. What matters most is how parents handle the process. A high-conflict, toxic divorce can harm children, but a well-managed separation, where parents prioritise their children’s emotional wellbeing, can help them adjust in a healthy way. Many children of divorced parents go on to thrive when they receive love, stability, and reassurance.

Myth 5: You’ll Lose Everything in the Divorce

Many people fear they will be left with nothing after a divorce, but this is rarely the case. Divorce laws aim for a fair division of assets based on factors like contributions to the marriage, financial needs, and children’s welfare. Consulting an expert attorney can help ensure you receive a fair settlement.

Myth 6: Divorce Means You Have to Hate Your Ex

Divorce doesn’t have to mean lifelong animosity. Many ex-spouses maintain a respectful or even friendly relationship, especially when co-parenting. Healthy boundaries, open communication, and emotional healing can lead to a positive post-divorce dynamic.

Myth 7: Life After Divorce Will Always Be Miserable

Divorce can be a painful transition, but it also opens the door to new opportunities. Many people find greater happiness, self-discovery, and healthier relationships after divorce. With time, support, and the right mindset, life after divorce can be fulfilling and empowering.

Divorce is a deeply personal journey, and believing in these myths can add unnecessary stress. By understanding the realities of divorce, you can navigate the process with clarity and confidence. If you’re considering divorce, seek professional guidance and know your rights to make informed decisions that serve your best interests.